Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
