you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
