That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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