well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
