I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize