Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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