I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize