You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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