something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
