Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
