the day after is always just damage control
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
