Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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