oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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