i don't like sucking hair
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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