Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize