i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
