He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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