If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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