Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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