He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
