Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
