Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
