I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
