Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
