Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
