no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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