are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
