well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
