"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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