I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Acid is not a monday night drug
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i out mim tonsoeep
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
