Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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