She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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