I just saw a hot homeless man
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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