I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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