We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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