is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
