I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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