i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
