Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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