At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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