maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
