I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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