So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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