do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize