remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
