Nicole vs. Life
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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