I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
