so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
