The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
