Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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