the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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