Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
