come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
