I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
