Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Too much gin, very little bucket
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
