As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
