U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
