The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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